AXN Mall Challenge!

It was during an uneventful meal all by my lonesome last Sunday that I received an unexpected phone call. It was from AXN inviting me to join the AXN Amazing Mall Challenge! I was obviously stunned. My ex-officemate Ryan had the weird idea of trying out for it, so I decided to tag along, thinking that there was no chance in hell that we were going to get picked. I guess there was still more than enough room in hell, since we both got the call last weekend.

I was nervous the whole week. I definitely watch AXN shows like Fear Factor, Survivor and the Amazing Race, so I had an inkling to what kind of challanges we would have. I dreaded the possibility of stuffing some gelatenous, worm puree down my throat. I was telling Ryan that if there were any eating challenges, he would have to duke it out alone. Haha.

The competition was to be held in Gateway Mall and Tiendesitas, so Ryan and I met up some time before the registration so that we could scope out the mall first, and try to get our bearings. During registration, we had to leave behind all our belongings save for my cellphone, for emergency purposes. There was a total of 31 teams, a good mix of people. Ryan and I were Team Bahag Hari, which translates literally as the G-String Lord. It was a bit agonizing waiting around for the challenge to start. I was trying to anticipate what kind of tasks lay ahead, but i really had no idea what lay ahead of us. So before things started, there was a short briefing on some rules and guidlines for the challenge. I could feel the excitement in the air, and when the go signal was given, it was instant mayhem.

Task 1: We were given the first 3 clues at the start of the race. The first task had us go to the cinemas. Apparently, we were supposed to retrieve a red envelope in one empty cinema. There was a lot of pushing, shoving, and some shouting while we were trying to get in and out of the cinema, as everyone was jockying for position. I really thought that was a classic example of a an age-old Pinoy quality. Don't you just love how we Filipinos display that "palengke" rudeness that we are so fond of?

Task 2: After getting through the first task, we hurried to the Oasis, an indoor garden in the center of the mall. The task was for one member of the team to memorize a poem inside and dictate it to the other teammate outside. And since there was only one entrance which we had access to, another bout of shoving and screaming matches ensued. While waiting for Ryan to come out and dictate the poem, I met Jane, one of the other contestants. We were both wondering why there was no Clue 3 in our initial set of clues, and it seemed like everyone else didn't either. So we struck up an alliance ala Amazing Race. I also met her partner Bianca a bit later, and the two managed to get on ahead of us.

Task 4: Without a Clue 3, we went on to Task 4, which had us go to Timezone near the cinemas again. The challenge required us to score a point in air hockey against a big, and burly individual. If you lost the point, you had to go to the back of the line and try again. We arrived just as Jane missed on her 1st attempt. I wanted to take this challenge on, since I was a master at air hockey. Needless to say, I scored a point on my second whack at the puck, and Team Bahag Hari rolled on to the next challenge.

Task 5: The 5th clue had us run down to the big xmas tree at the ground floor of the mall. When we got there, all we had to do was pick up a red xmas ball decoration and give it to someone to retrieve the next clue. And so we moved on to the next task.

Task 6: We headed back up to the cinemas to the Samsung station, where we line up to take our turn. Jane and Bianca met up with us there. As we were waiting, we were told that we couldn't push through with our challenge until we completed the 3rd task, of which we had no clue! So both of our teams were trying to figure out what it was, so we turned back and decided to go back to the starting point.

Task 3: At the starting point, there apparently was a Sun Cellular promotional table that we were supposed to get the 3rd clue. And to my dismay, our 3rd task had us sell two Sun Cellular prepaid kits and two Daylight Savings reloads for a total amount of 450. We weren't allowed to have any money, so this meant that we would have to scoure the mall for people gullible enough to give us money. And that we did. Pretty well, I might add. We were able to get a 100 peso solicitation from a group of older looking people near Taco Bell. I was able to mesmerize a group of adolescent girls in the food court, and one of them gave me 200 pesos right out of her wallet, to the amazement of her friends. We even had to convince her to take a reload card just so we wouldn't feel bad having her leave empty handed. Ryan on the other hand managed to scrounge up 20 pesos, and then targeted a pair of homosexuals. Since we only gave away one reload card at this point, we could afford to sell all our stuff for bottom feeder prices (actually backdoor entry prices in this situation). So we worked those gay guys pretty well. I think one of them was quite smitten by Ryan, and promised to give us 130 (the amount we needed) if we promised to take them out on dates. We were fortunate that they were only kidding, but I bet they wanted us bad, since one of them even slapped Ryan on the ass. With 450 pesos in tow, we went back to the station to get our next clue.

It just want to mention how frustrated I was with a trio of matronas who were so stingy with us while we were trying to raise the 450. I spent about 5 minutes giving them my best sales talk, and all they had to give me was one peso. Oh, how they laughed, looking so amused. I definitely wasn't amused myself. I asked her to give me more, and she decided to double it, giving me another peso. Then her kumare also pitched in with 2 pesos each for Ryan and I. So we had a grand total of 6 pesos from that trio. I decided to cut our losses and look for someone else. We left as they beamed at each other thinking how witty and funny they were, not knowing I was stabbing their beady, little, black hearts with smoldering fire-brands.

Task 6 (again): The next clue had us headed straight back to the Samsung Station, where we had to wait in line again. Jane and Biance soon followed suit. On the way to this station, we caught each other in the rush. They apparently undersold their Sun Cellular kits, so we gave them the spare kit that we had. With that, they were able to make quota and come in just behind us for the next task. This station was fairly easy. All we had to do was play the right dvd with the Samsung Id on a home theater set up. We learned that the lead teams were about 30 minutes in front by this time, so we hurried out of the area while I read the next clue.

Task 7: We headed out of the mall to Dencio's and Rasa for the following challenge. After unlocking a box for the clue, each pair had to be separated so that both teammates can complete individual tasks. I opted to take the challenge at Tiendesitas, while Ryan went ahead for a wild adventure at Farmer's Market.

Jane and I ended up together in the line that cued up for the trip to Tiendesitas. The trip there was exhilirating, as we had to hold on for our dear lives on the backs of hardcore big-bike riders. I was fortunate enough to ride a Ducati and BMW big bikes! Those babies cost more than one million pesos each! We were zig-zagging through traffic (it was deadlocked in the Katipunan interchange), going through the wrong side of the street and speeding away on the flyovers! When we got there, we discovered that the next task had us take a leisurely ride on a horse drawn carriage, or a "kalesa." The ride was short and uneventful for the most part, and we got through it without a hitch.

Jumping off the kalesa, the next clue read: "A Hut with an Italian Specialty." Jane and I figured that it was probably an Italian stall in Tiendesitas, so we scurried around the shopping village for that blasted hut. We spent 20 minutes running around like headless chickens in frustration, until a marshall told us that we had to head back to the mall. We both thought that we were done for. Game Over. So we headed back to Gateway to meet up with our partners.

Clue 8 & 9: While I was off to Tiendesitas, Ryan had two tasks to accomplish. First he had to pick out the right ingredients for a dish, have it cooked, and then have someone else eat it for you. He told me later on that this was a really tough challenge. Just the thought of Farmer's Market gives me an idea how hard that task really was. After picking up the next clue, Ryan had to run to Taco Bell to have out stamp signed, and then on to meet up with me later on to finish the race.

Clue 10: As I arrived back at the mall, Jane and I split up to go find our own partners. Ryan and I miraculously saw found each other at the escalator. We both filled in each other of what we did during our separate tasks. I told him that I thought I had missed a task in Tiendesitas, of which the clue was the Hut with the Italian specialty. Ryan then told me that the next station was to go to Pizza Hut. Then it hit me right there. Jane and I spent 20 long minutes running around for nothing, when we should have just headed straight back to Gateway after the Kalesa ride. I was so frustrated with myself for not thinking of that, but at this, there was really little I could do.

So we dashed to the Pizza Hut at the food court, where a few teams had log jammed, including Jane and Bianca. The next task apparently was to make your own pizza and eat it all. I really thought this was the perfect challenge for us since it was already late afternoon and we hadn't eaten lunch yet. So we were given plain dough, and I proceeded to prepare the pizza as per the instructions. While waiting for our pizza to cook, we learned that we were about 5th place, and knowing that we had an outside shot for a place pumped me up with a second wind. The freshly cooked pizza arrived just in time, and we wasted no time gorging on it. I even scalded my palate in the process because it was still hot off the oven! I had to eat about 3/4ths of the pizza since Ryan was having trouble at it. I swear, I had so much pizza in my mouth that there was hardly any space to chew. So I had to drink water to loosen it up, but after chewing, the pizza becomes just a thick, pulpy mass in your mouth, and that did not taste and feel particularly good. Good god, I could only imagine regurgitating partially digested pizza all over the floor on cable-tv. It's a good thing I had the intestinal fortitude to keep my food down.

Clue 11: After the hearty meal, Ryan and I rushed to Fully Booked, where our task was to find a CSI paperback book. I thought this would be another easy challange, but prooved to be more difficult than it seemed. We were running around looking for that blasted book, and we lost some ground to the other competitors. One of my teachers in college who was also a contestant (and the eventual 3rd placer), got through the challenge quickly. Even the Team Pink (Jane and Bianca - editors for Pink Mag) hurdled through us in a flash. Ryan managed to spy some sales ladies covering their tracks as they returned the books, so we were able to move on to the next task.

Clue 12: Ryan and I then found ourselves in DIY (Do-It-Yourself)for the next, and last task. The challenge was to assemble our own little cabinet. I knew we would have a tough time for this task, since I had very little carpentry experience, and neither did Ryan. So I picked up the cabinet kit and our tools and we soon got to work. We had a hard time figuring out which was which because we didn't notice until we were half-done that there was a sample cabinet that we should follow. We discovered that we had things on backwards, so we had to disassemble the cabinet. It seemed that each time we thought we had things down pat, we end up finding out that we had one thing or another on the wrong way! We had to disassemble the cabinet about 3 times before we actually had the finish product, and we lost major ground in the final task. Even Jane and Bianca did a better job than we did, but that didn't feel too bad since they were both cute anyway. With our cabinet finally done, we headed back to the staging area for the finish line. I guess the last challenge just goes to prove that neither Ryan nor myself have any carpentry skills whatsoever.

Team Pink finished 7th, so I think we finished around 9th. I think that was pretty decent, considering there were 31 teams in all. What hurt though was the fact that up to the last two tasks, we were ahead of the pair of Ateneo teachers who won third place. We really had a shot at winning a place, but I guess lady luck did not turn our way. The eventual winners were the actor Epi Quizon and some girl he was with. I really thought this was a let down. Of course, being an artista, he had an easier job with some tasks, and I think that gave them a leg up on the rest of us. They finished way in front of everyone else. Second went to a father-daughter team, and third went to a pair of Ateneo teachers.

As we sat with the other exhausted competitors, I felt so tired and drained by the whole experience. Ryan and I agreed that although the mall challenge was mega stressful and tiring, we had such a blast. My partner and I had breakfast in Mcdo that morning, and we were laughing half the time about what we had gotten ourselves into. We were only kidding around when we joined, and we were taken aback when we got the call. Now that it was all said and done, I really felt a certain sense of accomplishment knowing that I can compete and do well in these advanture races. Oftentimes, we see these things on tv, and we always think like, "Hey, I could do better than that guy." or "I would have done that this way." But it's really different when your actually participating. I'd say the whole experience was really fun and surreal, and somehow rewarding, even if we didn't win. The AXN Amazing Mall Challenge was something I definitely don't do everyday, and it was a good break from the monotony of corporate life.

There were refreshments served for the contestants at the Oasis, and at least for this task, we were there first. Ryan, Bianca, Jane and I shared a table and talked about our experiences during the challenge. After an exhausting day, it was great to sit around, have a bite and talk. Jane was the EIC of Pink Magazine, and Bianca worked for the mag too. They were invited as media participants. I think we were lucky to have struck an alliance with them since they had a lot of good inputs about each clue and challenge, and I guess we helped them out too. At least we were able to have a picture taken of our alliance. Cheers, guys!

After refreshments and the short chat, Ryan and I said our goodbyes and we both headed home. We were both going to the Xmas party of my former employer, and I was also looking forward to a hot bath. I took the MRT back to my pad in Makati still wearing my AXN t-shirt. I bet I looked a little out of place wearing hawaiian shorts and rubber shoes, but I wouldn't have cared less at that point. It was a fun and exciting day, and there was still a party to go to. I could wish for nothing more than a cold beer and some hotel food!

I thoroughly enjoyed my AXN Amazing Mall Challenge experience, and I wouldn't mind joining it again! According to the organizer, this was just the first of many. I heard that there was going to be an Asian Amazing Race sponsored by AXN, and you could be pretty sure that I'll be interested on taking that on too. So for Team Bahag Hari, this is Sanky signing off!




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Just an aside, but I have to write this down!!! I'm here in Netopia in Greenbelt 1, typing up this blog, when suddenly, fireworks started going off right behind us! I think Ayala Malls have fireworks set off every weekend, and this went off right on schedule. The guy beside me was so surprised by the unusually loud fireworks that he almost jumped out of his seat in shock! It's hard to describe, but he looked a lot like Wily Cayote when Roadrunner surprises him from behind! I swear, it looked so gay! After recovering from his initial shock, he straightened himself up, and went back to his business. But I saw him sneek a peek at me, probably to check if I was laughing at him or something. Knowing that he would do that, I just put on my best poker face. I was still laughing so hard in my head that I was just typing about 10 lines of gibberish as I tried to keep a straight face while this guy was spying my reaction. It's been 5 minutes since this incident and I still can't stop laughing...at least he's not watching me anymore! Laughtrip, sobra!

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