My Last Day in Thomson

I was hired by Thomson on June 7, 2004. Exactly one and a half years later, I served my last day of work on Wednesday, December 7, 2005. As much as I tried to play cool and composed that last day, actually for the last week or so, I really felt strongly about the team and the people I was leaving behind. I knew it would take a great effort not to flood into tears when the time came.

I woke up early last wednesday, feeling a little giddy. Maybe it was because my last day in Thomson, or maybe because i smoked a few sticks as soon as i opened my eyes, but deep down, i knew that this will be a very emotional for me. It honestly felt like graduation day...where you're so looking forward to getting through with it, and yet there's a great sense of loss and sorrow for moving from your alma mater's hallowed halls.

A few days before, I had already started packing up stuff from my ped and workstation. Removing pictures from the walls. Sorting out usefull files. Setting aside random objects of sentimental value. It was tough work. I even started going through my computer, deleting useless files, and trying to figure out where to put all the pictures and videos of the team, since I was also the team videographer, among others. At that point, it felt a little weird because while my teammates around me were busy with work, here I was staring into nothingness for minutes at a time. It seemed everything I held, or everywhere i looked, I had flashes of memories. Of course, I couldn't help but be sad, and I didn't want to burden my officemates with that, so I just kind of pulled myself in.

When I arrived at the office, I was the first one in for our part of the floor. It was deafly quiet. In a matter of hours, the area would be humming with activity, people scurrying to and from their printers, a few laughs at strange forms of comedy, and hushed words of the latest chismis, showbiz or Thomson-related. Before all that, I just took the time to digest my moment of peace. A few minutes later, I met up with a few people from EST and had breakfast. Jan, a goodfriend from highschool and college and also works in Thomson, was there too. We talked about how uncanny it was that we started out in the same company, much less in the same group. We both agreed that this was a long time coming, and time was right for me to move on. Just as I had said on my previous post, this seems to be written on the stars.

The whole day was set aside to finish my clearance, and clean out what little stuff i had left. Of course, I played one last game of Dota with the Thomson Dota Community. Wow, I can't believe I played that game almost everyday for the better part f six months. It was nice to hear them all saying their byes and dedicating the day's game for me. And to think I don't even know more than half of these people. It's funny, because later in the afternoon, on the way to another floor to continue my clearance, this guy, who I'm certain was the teammate of a friend of mine, suddenly catches me in the elevator. He started saying the he just found out that I resigned and was asking where I was moving to. You know, small talk. So we basically had a 5 minute conversation of this and that, and the whole time, I was like, "Who the hell is this guy?! I don't even know his friggin name?!!?" But apparently he knew mine. That was embarrassing. Before it dragged on for another 5 minutes, I begged off and proceeded with my clearance. "Sige, dude, una na ako tsong! Kita-kits nalang pre." Notice how I used 3rd person nouns to substitute for his name. Quite nifty, eh?

My teammates and I went to lunch in Amici, in Don Bosco. It's this quaint and unassuming restaurant run by the Bosconian priests as a front for their cooking school. In my opinion, they have most authentic Italian tastes in all of the Italian restaurants I've eaten. We had a feast of thin-crust pizza, a varied array of pastas and a pick of the most scrupmtuous gelatto as finale. I was not as participative in the conversations as I always was. I just wanted to the company of my teammates, see them in action, crack jokes and laugh. Of course, talk went to the topic of the day, and we would all make wisecracks about my resignation, but there was always a tinge of sadness in every punchline.

When we got back to the office, I continued on with my packing. Some of my teammates came and hovered around my workstation, like vultures lurking for their next meal. I was in charge of the team's supplies from Day 1, and a few of them were ready to have at the spoils. I found that funny, as they were literally bargaining for the last available gel pen. My teammate Anna even joked about me leaving her a jacket or two, since she survived the sub-zero Thomson temperatures through my healthy staple of jackets and sweaters. I guess that was one of my other tasks for my team, I was the provider of warmth.

I also made sure the I had a few sticks with my yosi buddies before leaving. Among my team, Liezl and Ryan often had a smoke with me after lunch. I can remember so many different conversations and a wide range of emotions during our yosi breaks. Liezl is definitely one of my closest friends in Thomson; she was my "stage-mother", ate and confidant. She was real, never afraid of her emotions, and always willing to make sacrifices for her friends. Ryan on the other hand is a character, fo' shizzle. He's steady is as steady goes. You know, it's during those yosi breaks where you talk about the most random things, and it doesn't really matter what you're talking about, but you just enjoy the company. Let me tell you that the company was great indeed.

As the end of the day drew nearer, I already knew that we were going to have the customary 'surprise' party. Whenever someone has a birthday or some event, we always make up some excuse to have a meeting or have some bogus work-related gathering. This would be actually a prelude to a small celebration with the team. Of course, I knew they had something in mind. I pretty much figured they'd make me a scrap book or something. I psyched myself up as I received a email announcing a short meeting to discuss some announcements from our US counterparts. I knew where this was going.

We all crammed into a small room; all eyes were on me. I didn't like that feeling, being the center of attention. People who know me would think I would bask in that attention, but I actually feel uncomfortable because of it. So after a little introduction, my officemates unveiled a slideshow presentation dedicated to me. I sat in front of the computer, as my teammates sat behind me, and we all watched it together. You know, i wasn't too thrilled by the video...a good number of my pictures there were so unflattering! hahaha! But to be honest, I was deeply struck by what they had done. I think that was sweet of them to do something like that for me. As the picutes transitioned from one crazy picture to another, I sort of tuned out for a minute and had my own slideshow in my head. This had been going on for the past week, where I would remember random experiences with the team. I definitely think we had so much fun, and the slideshow playing in front of me was testament to that fact. It was just a little anti-climactic though because it seemed that the disk drive of the computer was on steroids, so the audio played faster than it should have, and it ended up sounding like chipmunks singing. Regardless, I think that was a very meaningful video.

Well after that, I was asked to make a speech. At this point, I was totally at a loss for words. In fact, I had already planned a speech for them, when the time came, but I guess I was lost in my emotions and just totally forgot it. I'm not good at memorizing anyway. So I stammered out my most sincere thanks and appreciation to my team for being there and having me as their friend. Then one by one, they each gave me a short message. At this point, a few of them were in tears. I was holding them back. I really think they expected me to cry. Maybe for them, it would be an affirmation of how deeply I felt for them, and would be a clear indication of how bad i'm feeling for leaving the team. But I really did not want to cry. I was more happy than sad. Happy because I felt that I made the right decision, that I completed all that I had to do, and happy that my good friends were here with me now. I was sad that I would wake up everyday seeing different faces thereafter, sad that I was leaving them all behind. But at that moment, they were all there; they weren't gone yet, so why cry?

It was really tough seeing some of them cry because of my departure. I hate making people cry. I always feel so guilty and sheepish. I guess I made quite an impression on some of them, and I can't blame them for that. They all stood around me, and i could see that it was tough on them too. It's a fact that seeing someone leave is a morale buster. I know a few people on my team are having second thoughts already, and seeing me go would probably be one more thing to think about. But most of all, they were saying goodbye to someone who had always taken the extra effort to get to know them, please them and serve them. You know, these are people that I've worked with, laughed with, bled with. I would like to think they felt as bad as I did too. I really wanted to apologize to them for deciding to leave. They kept saying that they knew that I'm happy with my decision to do so. That actually hurt a bit; it sounded like I was happy for leaving them. I hope they didn't misunderstand me; I was happy with my decision to leave, but not happy for leaving my team. Those two aren't mutually exclusive.

With our final goodbyes, we all filed out slowly back to our desks. There was a heavy feel to the air. Goodnatured jokes were being passed around. That didn't help me though from feeling like garbage though. I spoke to my manager and gave her some thoughts and feedback on the team and its current position. I guess the purpose of our talk was to let her know the importance of each one in the team, and to try and find ways to keep them motivated and interested with their work, which i believe is a very tall order. After, I collected the last of my things and bade goodbye to each one of the remaining people on the team. I made sure I gave a hug to each one. They deserved it. And so I logged off my computer, put together my belongings and passed my last round of goodbyes before heading down the elevator.

The way home was lonely. My roommate hadn't arrived yet, so I decided to wait. I was hungry, and desperate to talk to someone, so called him and we ended up meeting in Greenbelt and had an unsatisfying dinner in Tokyo Tokyo. Although he seemed rather uninterested about all the details, I felt marginally better with a load off my chest. At least during the next few days, I'm going to have a whole bunch of errands to do. Trying to sleep that night felt like a malting snake.

It's about 1:30am Sunday morning. I begin work at Citibank tomorrow at 8:30am. I'm really excited, but I'm sure wearing long sleeves, slacks and leathers shoes would not instantly feel right. Plus, afer orientation, my hours would be during the graveyard shift, and so I doubt I would easily adjust to it too. Right now, I wish I was still working in Thomson, so that Ill be comforted by the fact that I'll be goofing off with the team again tomorrow, instead of sitting through a boring orientation. I guess this is it then. The close of that chapter, and the beginning of a new one. I have so much to look forward to, and so much to look back to as well. I wouldn't mind having teammates like the ones I had in Thomson. Thanks guys, I owe you plenty.